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1. Who makes it, has no need of it.
Who
buys it, has no use for it.
Who uses it can neither see nor feel it.
2. Tell me what a dozen rubber trees
with thirty boughs on each might be?
3. What goes through the door without
pinching itself?
What sits on the stove without burning itself?
What sits on the table and is not ashamed?
4. What work is it that the faster
you work,
the longer it is before you're done,
and the slower you work,
the sooner you're finished?
Answers are at the bottom of the submission guidelines
page.
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Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Is that you mommy?"
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with
a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?
A. They take the psycho path.
Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.
Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.
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Answering machine message 01
Well I finally got an answering machine. Now how does this
thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it's not working right. Hmmmm,
I wonder what this button does...
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Answering machine message 02
How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand
the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this... YOW!
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Answering machine message 03
You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why
I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another
long answering machine message when you call me...
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Answering machine message 05Drawling granny voice: Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy
gadjets like no ansherin' machine. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. Now, shum people, dey shay dey
don' like 'em, but I shay it'll shave you a lotta trouble if you jusht leave a meshage. Thanksh a lot.
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